I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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