this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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