I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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