Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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