oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
