If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
