they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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