Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
