i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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