you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
