I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
God, I missed his penis.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
