put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
