I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
