I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
