id be glad to
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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