Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
