It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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