How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
