In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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