If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
