I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
