Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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