but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she peed on how many people?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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