I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He shit in the fireplace
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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