bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize