he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
