I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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