im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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