dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
