try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
