just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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