so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
