he thought i was a dude.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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