Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I understand Curling. That high.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
