Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I did not marry a roomba.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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