he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
