I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
