you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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