At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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