I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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