I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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