why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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