Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
