I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize