If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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