If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
