part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
