Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
