She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize