I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
