Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
