So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Just pee around me
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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