so that wasnt chicken after all
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
