part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
