I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
