I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
