Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I have so many feelings about this burrito
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
