I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Princesses don't give blow jobs
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
