you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
