He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
