Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
