My nipple is on Facebook.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
