There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
