I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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