her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
