what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
