Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
