Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
